I’m not usually one for a newsletter or year in review, but this has been a hell of a year. At this stage of it, I feel like I wake up every morning like Capt. Picard calling for a damage report. I’ve been white-knuckling my way through a lot of it and trying to hold my anxiety in check. I have never been more politically aware in my life as I have been this year. So many things have come up that has made it necessary to call, write, text, or march that I find myself exhausted every day. With the political anger, there has also been an uptick in job related stress as I spend quite a bit of time inside the district for work and often on foot. There have been a few times when I’ve found out that I’m working in DC on a day when a protest or rally is planned and I spend the whole day hoping we don’t end up crossing an angry path. Add in basic job stress like erratic scheduling (I’m a part time government contractor) leading to tense finances, and I’m kind of tense pretty much all the time.
In my personal life, I lost both of my grandmothers this year. My maternal grandmother, you may remember, I was able to put together enough words to resemble a tribute. My paternal grandmother, however, well she passed a week to the day after a good friend. Being stuck in a state of shock and confusion, I never put together a send-off for either Big Red (our friend) or Nonnie. I tried in a rather unorganized, awkward penguin, oh-god-people-are-looking-at-me sort of fashion to speak at Big Red’s service, but I didn’t do him justice. Hopefully I was able to get across that we care and we miss him. In Nonnie’s case, I still haven’t said or written anything. The fact that it has been such a long absence here should tell you all that I am running out of words. At least I was able to travel for each loss, in order to say goodbye.
Despite the strain and stress, there have been good moments. Batman and I got married in November and although we opted out of having a formal wedding, we had an officiant come to our home and marry us in the dining room where our parents were able to bear witness. Since things have been so stressful, we have been writing down little victories and happy instances all year and placing them in a mason jar to re-read on New Year’s Eve (or day) and I look forward to going through those notes. It will be nice to reflect on the happy times in preparation for the new year.
I hope 2017 was good for you all, and for anyone who had it rough, I’m glad it’s over. I know that moving into a new calendar is really just symbolic but passing the holiday season does tend to feel like one big deep breath after months of exertion. In either situation, take the end of year rest. Allow it to heal and refresh you. I will see you all in 2018.